“A must read for everyone working with, living with, or dealing with toxic people.” — Vivian Porter, KEARTH 101 Radio, Los Angeles, CA

“A treasure trove of golden nuggets that succinctly reflect core truths.” — Bill DeFoi, The Bill DeFoi Radio Show, Ventura, CA

I Thought I Was the Crazy One

21 Ways to Identify and Deal with Toxic Personalities

By Ruthie O. Grant

Personhood Press

Copyright © 2003 Ruthie O. Grant
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-932181-01-2

Contents

Title Page,
Copyright Page,
PRAISE FOR I Thought I Was the Crazy,
I Thought I Was The Crazy One,
COMING SOON by The Author:,
DEDICATED TO:,
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS,
FOREWORD,
A Note From The Author,
PREFACE,
INTRODUCTION,
PART I – 201 WAYS TO IDENTIFY AND DEAL WITH TOXIC PERSONALITIES,
PART II – Understanding Toxic Personalities,
PART III – AFTER THE STORM,
WORKS CITED,
BOOKS FOR FURTHER READING,
NOTES,
ABOUT THE AUTHOR,

CHAPTER 1

PART I

201 WAYS TO IDENTIFY AND DEAL WITH TOXIC PERSONALITIES

Beware of a Person Who …

He will choose you, disarm you with his words, and control you with his presence. He will delight you with his wit and his plans. He will show you a good time, but you will always get the bill. He will smile and deceive you, and he will scare you with his eyes. And when he is through with you, and he will be through with you, he will desert you and take with him your innocence and your pride. You will be left much sadder but not a lot wiser, and for a long time you will wonder what happened and what you did wrong. And if another of his kind comes knocking at your door, will you open it?

-Excerpted from an essay signed “A Psychopath in Prison”

-From “Without Conscience” by Robert D. Hare, PhD

Beware of a Person Who …

is a Tinman or Tinwoman (unfaithful heartbreakers) with holes in their hearts so big no one man or woman can ever fill them up. Have the foresight and fortitude to kick the Tinman or Tinwoman habit.

Note: The following also applies to women] “Some men need the security of a steady relationship to feel confident enough to chase women. That’s why you may not realize he’s a lady’s man at first: until he is sure he has you hooked, and knows his bait works, he is too insecure to troll for other romantic prey.” -Carol Lieberman, M.D.& Lisa Cool

Beware of a Person Who …

amputates sexuality from a meaningful act of love. Since he or she cannot connect common sense with the seat of passion, this type will use sex as a substitute for emotional closeness.

“Controlling and/or abusive men or women “confuse sexuality with intimacy and offer their partners sex rather than emotional closeness.” -Hawker & Bicehouse

Tom Stoppard in “The Real Thing” defined love as knowing and being known. In ancient Greece knowing was used for making love, or carnal knowledge – knowledge of the self –the mask slipped from the face. Every other version of the self is an offer to the public.” -Arianna Huffington

Beware of a Person Who …

finds fault in others without examining his or her own shortcomings. A wise person will strive not to marry weaknesses, nor make lovers of them, but will work hard at overcoming his or her own faults. Anyone overly critical of others is obviously not sure of self.

“Men [and women] will preserve the errors of their childhood, of their country, and of their age long after having recognized all the truths needed to destroy them.” -Marquis de Condorat

“When a man [or woman] spends his/her time giving his/her wife/husband criticism and advice instead of compliments, he/she forgets that it was not his/her good judgment, but his/her charming manners, that won his/her heart.”-Helen Rowland

Beware of a Person Who …