The Nice Girl Syndrome: Stop Being Manipulated and Abused -- and Start Standing Up for Yourself

In this breakthrough guide, internationally acclaimed therapist and emotional abuse expert Beverly Engel explains that women today simply cannot afford to be Nice Girls, since “nice girls” are much more likely to be victimized―emotionally, physically, and sexually―than those who are not so nice. She helps you determine whether the syndrome is keeping you in an abusive relationship or in manipulative situations, and she identifies the seven different types of Nice Girls. She also discusses the specific conditions and experiences that contribute to the development of each type and helps you decide which type might apply to you.

Engel helps you understand the signals that your Nice Girl behavior sends to potential abusers. Through prescriptive action steps, she shows you how to confront the beliefs and behaviors that keep you stuck in your Nice Girl act and how to replace them with healthier, more empowering ones.

By reading The Nice Girl Syndrome, you’ll learn how to:

• Stop putting other people’s needs and feelings before your own

• Stop believing that being nice will protect you and learn how to protect yourself

• Stop worrying about what other people think of you

• Start standing up for yourself and your rights

• Express your anger and learn how to handle conflict effectively

To help in your journey from Nice Girl to strong woman, Engel tells the moving and inspiringstories of women she has worked with who have found the courage and strength to stop taking abuse and who have broken free fromthose who manipulate, belittle, and abuse them. Filled with wise advice, powerful exercises, and practical prescriptions, The Nice Girl Syndrome will show you step by step how to be your own strong woman.

“Engel, a psychotherapist and domestic violence expert, has sharp words for the ‘nice girls’ of the world who care more about being perceived as sweet and pleasant than strong and self-protective. Drop the phoniness and passivity, she exhorts, arguing that while society superficially rewards nice girls, they suffer deeply in their intimate and work relationships by losing personal power and parading inauthentic selves. Avoiding conflict and playing naïve may seem to offer payoffs, Engel notes, but the payoffs aren’t as big as the price women pay for not holding their ground―’They may get taken care of but they aren’t respected. They may get special attention but from the wrong kind of people.’ Readers will find Engel’s elucidation of the four causes of ‘Nice Girl Syndrome’ and the ‘Seven Types of Nice Girls’ (e.g., Doormat, Pretender, Prude, Enlightened One) deeply funny and familiar. . . . This book will challenge, entertain, and empower its readers.”
―Publishers Weekly (starred review)

For The Emotionally Abusive Relationship

“A good, solid treatment of an insidious but all-too-common type of relationship in which the weapons are words and moods rather than the fist, but which do just as much damage. Most importantly, Ms. Engel doesn’t just describe―she shows us the way out.”
―Susan Forward, Ph.D., author of Emotional Blackmail and Toxic Parents

For Loving Him without Losing You

“A powerful and practical guide to relationships that every woman should read.”
―Barbara De Angelis, Ph.D., author of Are You the One for Me? and Secrets about Men Every Woman Should Know