The Feckless Ones
There was once a young farmer who married his neighbour s only daughter.
One day he and his young wife, her father and her mother, all went to the peat-hag to cut peat for the winter. When they were hungry, the young wife went to fetch the dinner.
When she got home, she saw the speckled filly s pack-saddle hanging above her head. She looked at the filly, then she sat on the ground and wept.
If the pack-saddle should fall on to my head, whatever would I do? she wailed. It might kill me! And she sat there, rocking to and fro, weeping bitterly.
The family at the peat-hag wondered why the young wife was so long fetching the dinner.
I ll go and see what s happened, said her mother.
She found the young wife sitting on the ground, rocking to and fro, weeping bitterly.
Oh, if it happened to me! she cried.
What has happened? asked her mother.
Well, when I came in, I saw the speckled filly s pack-saddle overhead, she wailed. What should I do if it had fallen and killed me?
Good gracious me! cried her mother, if that should happen, what should I do without you, my only child, to help me? And she too sat on the ground and wept.
Whatever can be keeping those women said the father. I d better go and see what has happened to our dinner.
He found his wife and his daughter sitting on the ground at home, rocking to and fro, and crying their hearts out.
What s come over you both? he cried.
When our daughter came home, sobbed his wife, she saw the pack-saddle over her head. Whatever would I do if it fell and killed her, and I d have no one to help me?
If that should happen we d all be in a bad way said the old man, and he too sat down and wept.
The young farmer grew tired of waiting for his dinner. He went to see what had happened to his wife and her parents.
What s wrong with you all? he said, when he saw them, sitting on the ground, crying their eyes out.
Our daughter came home, saw the speckled filly s pack-saddle above her head and thought she d be killed if it fell on her, said the old man. If that should happen what would become of us? She s our only child.
But the pack-saddle didn t fall, said the young man.
His young wife, her mother and her father didn t reply, they just cried louder than before. So the young man sat at the table, helped himself to the dinner and ate it. He took no notice of them and they took no notice of him. Then he went to bed.
Next morning, the three were still weeping, so he pulled on his boots, shouldered his gun and left.
I ll not stop, said he as he left, till I see three others as silly as you!
On and on he went till he came to a house where three women were spinning.
Are there any silly folk in these parts? said he.
There are, said the women. The men here are so stupid, they ll believe anything we tell them.
Is that so? said the young man. Well, I ll give a gold coin to the woman whose husband believes her absolutely.
When the first man came home, his wife said to him: You are sick. Am I? said he.
Indeed you are. Take off your clothes and go to bed. So he did as he was told and, as soon as he was under the bed-clothes, his wife said:
Good gracious me, you re dead! Am I? said he.
Indeed you are. Now close your eyes and don t move. So her husband closed his eyes and died. Now, when the second man came home, his wife looked at him, and said: You re not you!
Am I not? said he. Then this can t be my home. And he went away out of the house.
The third man came home, and his wife welcomed him. She gave him supper and they went to bed. But next morning, when he had to go to his neighbour s funeral, he couldn t find his clothes.
What are you looking for? said his wife.
My clothes.
You ve got them on, and you d better hurry or you ll miss the funeral. They ve just passed, carrying the coffin. You ll have to run if you want to catch them up!
So the goodman ran out of his house and after the funeral party, stark naked. When they saw him, the mourners left the coffin on the ground, and fled. The naked man stood at the foot of the coffin and was wondering what to do, when along came the second husband.
You look lost, Thomas, said the naked one.
I m not Thomas, said he, if I was, my wife would know me, and she said I was not me. Why are you going about naked?
I m not, my wife told me I had my clothes on!
My wife told me I am dead, said the corpse in the coffin.
When the other two heard the dead man speak, they ran off as fast as their legs could take them, and were not seen again.
Which of us has the silliest husband? the three wives asked the young farmer. Which of us has won the gold coin?
The young man decided that the wife of the dead man deserved the gold coin, for her husband was certainly the silliest he had ever heard of. Along with the two other husbands, all three were even sillier than his wife, her father and her mother.
So he went back home and told them the story. Whether this cured their stupidity, we ll never know.
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