MILLION DOLLAR COACHING

BUILD A WORLD-CLASS PRACTICE BY HELPING OTHERS SUCCEED

By ALAN WEISS

The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc.

Copyright © 2011 Alan Weiss
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-0-07-174379-2

Contents

PREFACECHAPTER 1 WHAT ON EARTH IS A COACH?CHAPTER 2 THE COACH'S CALLINGCHAPTER 3 SETTING YOURSELF UP FOR SUCCESSCHAPTER 4 DELIVERING THE GOODSCHAPTER 5 METHODOLOGIES, TECHNOLOGIES, AND ANALOGIESCHAPTER 6 CREATING LONG, LONG-TERM CLIENTSCHAPTER 7 HOW NOT TO LEAVE MONEY ON THE TABLECHAPTER 8 AGGRESSIVE MARKETINGCHAPTER 9 DEVELOPING YOURSELFCHAPTER 10 HIGHER LEVELSAPPENDIX WHAT'S MY COACH QUOTIENT (CQ)?101 QUESTIONS FOR ANY SALES SITUATION YOU'LL EVER FACEINTERVIEWS WITH COACHESINDEX

Excerpt

CHAPTER 1

WHAT ON EARTH IS A COACH?

IF IT'S NOT CLEAR TO YOU, DON'T WORRY; IT'S NOT VERY CLEAR TO ME

WHO CERTIFIES THE CERTIFIERS?

A coach who is very well known today was starting out in the 1990s with noexperience, no college education, and, basically, no clue. She asked if shecould hang out with me when I visited some clients and prospects, so that shecould understand what these engagements were all about.

In a wild fit of goodwill, I said yes.

After some weeks of this, she decided that she was sufficiently educated andasked if she could do anything for me in return. I assured her that it was mypleasure, and that nothing was needed. But she persisted.

"There must be something I can coach you about. Tell me something you've alwayswanted to do but haven't been able to accomplish."

I was getting weary, so I said, "Okay, I've always wanted to host a regularradio show. I've done it once or twice, but I'd love to have a daily program." Ifigured that if there was any vague possibility that she could help with this,it would be fine with me.

"Right!" she said. "Starting in a couple of days, I'm going to help you with mygreatest coaching technique."

Four days later, I received a letter from her. Inside was a card, which said (Iam NOT making this up):

"Every day, say three times in the morning, 'I WILL have a radio show, I WILLhave a radio show.' Before you know it, your dreams will come true."

I still don't have a radio show, but I have a profound sense of how ridiculousand amateurish the coaching "profession" can be. (Don't forget, this person hasbeen widely seen on television and in print media.)

In a classic five-minute comedy sketch, Bob Newhart portrays a therapist whonever takes more than five minutes, and charges a dollar a minute. When a womanreveals that she's afraid of being enclosed in a box and buried, he tells herthat there's a two-word cure. She takes out a notebook, and he yells, "STOPIT!!!" When she shares that she also has myriad other issues, he yells, "STOPIT!!!" each time. When she tells him that she's very unhappy with his therapy,he agrees to slow up and says that he'll give her an additional 10-word cure:"STOP IT OR I'LL PUT YOU IN A BOX AND BURY YOU!!"

What's the "truth" about what constitutes a coach? I can tell you this: it's notattending a program and obtaining a certificate and some arcane initials afteryour name. No government institution, no academic source, no Gnostic parchmentshave endowed these programs with the ability to create coaches better thananyone else.

At times, I've had to tell people to "knock it off," a là Newhart, and to stopwhining or complaining or opening all baggage. At other times, however, I've hadto gingerly explain to a division president that his decline in personaleffectiveness and productivity was due to clinical depression (having tested forthe indicators), and that he had a disease that needed treatment. These extremesand everything in between are often demanded of a good coach.

So the first thing I want to tell you is that a great many people, although noteveryone, can coach. The requisite skills and behaviors are learnable and notnatal, but they are not automatically certifiable by having performed certainrituals and made certain tuition payments. Not only have I coached extensively,but I've helped develop coaches all over the world, both within and outside oforganizations.

Here are some of the key characteristics that I've assembled:

1. Skills

• Highly skilled and sensitive listening

• Superb oral communication, combining both tact and directness

• A keen ability to observe behavior and detect cognitive dissonance

• The capability to develop behavioral objectives and metrics for success

• A combination of "frontstage and backstage" counseling

• Empathy as distinct from sympathy

• Minimally, basic consulting skills and organizational knowledge

2. Behaviors

• High assertiveness, when needed, to overcome procrastination

• High persuasiveness, to influence and convince

• Moderate patience levels, to listen but not lose momentum

• Moderate detail orientation, to track progress but not overanalyze

• High integrity, to preserve confidentiality

• A high sense of proportion, to place others' behaviors in context

• A healthy ego, convinced that one can help, but not playing the role of"savior"

3. Experiences

• Having been successfully coached oneself

• Organizational experience as an employee

• Interaction with intended client levels as a peer

Note that I haven't included age or amount of experience. Obviously, a youngerperson may not have had the time to gain some of these requirements, but it'snot out of the question. Many mature people who are looking at coaching as asecond career still don't have the requisites despite their years at work.

Stop it! Don't regard coaching as some kind of dark science or as somelofty cosmic pursuit. It is merely the temporary engagement with a client tohelp that client improve. The odds are, if you're reading this, you can do it.If you continue reading, you'll probably be able to do it really well.

Most definitions of coaching include specific disciplines, activities, andregimens. They tend to focus on helping someone become better at certainactivities. All of that may be true, but I prefer this:

A coach helps someone create a desired result through improved behaviorand performance, as mutually determined at the outset.

Therefore, if you're coaching me, we'll agree from the beginning on how I'll bebetter when we're done (the output or result) and how we'll know it (the metricor indicators). If we don't establish these things at the outset, then how do weknow that we're making progress or are on the right track?

That's why "life coaches" and such designations make zero sense to me. What doesthat mean? You're going to improve my "life"? I find that most of these coachesaren't coaches at all, but people with predetermined alternatives that theyclaim have worked for them (did the woman who sent me that card really readsomething to herself three times a morning?!) and/or for others. Part of thereason that coaching has grown as a pseudo-separate discipline is that it'ssomething...