LULLABIES

By C. A. Cuomo

iUniverse LLC

Copyright © 2014 C. A. Cuomo
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4917-2511-5
CHAPTER 1

The bar is closed now. Jonathan Kent sits in his car, his hands resting in his lap. The light from the street lamp shines through the windshield. He looks through the window at the face of a man in his mid-thirties who has yet to make the music he has in his head, music he hears clearly and constantly but cannot commit to paper. He feels drained of all life. His soft, black hair falls back as he rests his head against the headrest. He is drunk and alone. It seems he has spent most of his life this way. He is tired of living. He has given up on a wife who will not believe him. He begged her, but she wouldn't. He tried to wipe away all the hurt he caused her, but he failed. His wife chose to believe his mother, who believed the lies of an ex-girlfriend and not him. His mother would never believe him, and now his wife does not believe him. He no longer believes in himself. He turns the key in the ignition. "Lauren," he whispers gently as the car pulls away from the bar.

The road is dark. The narrow lanes are surrounded by steep cliffs on the left and towering walls on the right. Jonathan fights to keep his car away from the menacing wall on his right. He replays over and over the disgust in his wife's voice. He feels the car swerve wildly. He realizes he has shifted lanes, and he can see the cliffs approaching. As he pulls his car away from the cliffs, he is horrified to see the lights of an oncoming car. He frantically steers his car back to his lane to avoid sending the other car over the cliffs. He hears the sickening thud as his car slams into the other car. The cries of the passenger in the other car fill his ears. He jerks his wheel to the right to avoid any more contact with the other car. His car picks up speed as it races toward the wall. He hits the brake with such force he can feel his knee buckle. Jonathan Kent knows he cannot stop the car. He manages to turn his side of the car away from the wall. He screams with fear as his car smashes into the wall. The passenger side of the car crumbles as the windshield explodes and the passenger seat traps him. He can feel the blood rushing from his nose and mouth. His chest heaves in pain as he struggles to get out of the car. In minutes, the scene fills with the sound of fire engines and ambulances. Jonathan cannot speak, but he can hear the firemen shouting and the sound of metal being crushed around him. The firemen are inside the car now. "Stay with me, buddy!" one of them shouts as they frantically prod his leg from the wreckage. He suddenly feels as if he is free from his car, but the pain overwhelms him. He reaches out to the fireman, who continues to urge him, "Come on, buddy. Just stay with us." As he slips into unconsciousness, his last thought is the hope he has not killed anyone else.

Michael Bello watches as his EMS workers place his unconscious grandmother inside the ambulance that will take her and his distraught parents to the hospital. He is holding his weeping daughter as his wife sits beside him crying. The ambulance that will take them to the hospital has arrived. The EMS workers begin to talk to his wife and his daughter. He called for help when Jonathan Kent's car hit them. He hoped the car would not hit them again. They would be dead now if it had. His heart is still racing. He watches the EMS workers place his daughter's arm in a sling. His wife comforts her as they place her in the ambulance. His eyes move toward the fire engines surrounding the car that has smashed into the wall. He sees the EMS workers placing Jonathan on the gurney. There is blood everywhere. Michael Bello shakes his head. "God," he says softly.

As the ambulances arrive at the hospital, the EMS crew rushes Jonathan into the emergency room. The nurses quickly strip Jonathan of his clothes. He awakens to nauseating pain. He can feel himself vomit as the nurses ready him for surgery. Every movement causes excruciating pain. He is sweating profusely. He is finding it hard to breath. There is a realization that he may die. He struggles to gather enough breath to talk. "I'd like to see my wife," he whispers as the nurse begins to wipe his face and change the IV in his arm.

"In a bit, Jonathan," the nurse answers. "In a bit." He can feel the nurses lift him onto a gurney. The pain causes him to hold his breath. His hands grip the sides of the gurney as the tears stream down his face. The doors open, and Jonathan sees the bright lights of the operating room.

The hospital waiting room is a large, dimly lit space with chairs and sofas haphazardly placed. The television is on, but the voice is muted. Lauren Kent sits watching the agony of a couple sitting across from her. Her tall, slender frame is slumped in the chair, her fingers twirling her auburn hair. She cannot understand all the words, but the phrase "he does not have long" echoes in her ears. She prays she will not hear those words this evening. Her only solace is that Jonathan managed to pull his car away from the oncoming car and spare its occupants the injuries he inflicted upon himself. This is the man she hates and loves. This is the man whose radiant smile and laughing blue eyes can make her heart pound. This is the man, who cannot be faithful no matter how many times she begs and no matter how many times he promises. This is the man she cannot stop loving no matter how much he hurts her. Tonight she fears their argument will end the life of the man she loves. Her eyes fill with tears as she continues to twirl her hair. Lauren looks at the clock. It is two thirty in the morning. She closes her eyes to hold back the tears. As she opens her eyes, Emily Crawford is standing there. She is happy to see her mom's face.

"I should have listened to you, mom," Lauren whispers as the tears flow down her face. "I wouldn't stop. I ..."

Emily Crawford sits next to her daughter. Lauren huddles in her mother's arms. Emily gently runs her fingers through her daughter's hair. Lauren rests her head on her mother's shoulder and cries. Emily holds her grief-stricken daughter, kissing her forehead. Mother and daughter share the same auburn hair and deep brown eyes. They also share the heartache of painful marriages. Emily knew her daughter would not heed her advice not to confront her husband. She knew her daughter had come to the point in her marriage where her husband's infidelity had become too painful to overlook, but this time Emily believed that the accusations were untrue.

"It doesn't matter now, Lauren. Now you must help Jonathan. Nothing else matters now," Emily whispers gently as she continues to hold her daughter.

"Mom, I don't know what I will do if he dies. He begged me to believe him. He pleaded with me. He asked if I didn't see he was trying to change. Mom, I should have stopped. He is everything to me." Lauren clutches her mother's hand.

"It is not your fault, Lauren. It is his. He should have stopped," Mary Kent says sharply. Her angular face is ashen and her gray hair uncombed. She sits next to her daughter-in-law and rubs her back. "Your mother is right, Lauren," she says as she looks at Emily. "Nothing matters now. We will just have to wait." Mary Kent sits back in the chair and stares ahead. Emily continues to hold her daughter.

The operating room is a place of controlled chaos. The doctors' voices are hurried and sharp. The nurses are moving around the room in response to the doctors' voices. Jonathan hears the doctors and nurses scurrying around him. Every movement seems exaggerated. He focuses on the bright light shining overhead. The room is cold, and Jonathan feels cold. The nurse rubs his hand as they position him on the operating table. The anesthesiologist sits next to him. He watches as she begins the drip. Her voice is calm. He can hear her ask him to count. As he counts, he can feel himself falling asleep. The noise slowly dissolves. His body comes to a complete stop. The doctors close in around the operating table and quickly begin to open his stomach to stop the bleeding that is sapping his life. Jonathan hears someone ask him to wake up. He opens his eyes. This must be a dream, he thinks. He can see himself on the operating table. He is watching the doctors work to save his life, but he does not feel anything. It is an odd feeling, as if he is a spectator at some event. The doctors' voices become louder as the monitors begin to flat line. He can see his body stiffen and then writhe in pain. He can see the doctor place the defibrillator over his chest. He is frightened. He wants to tell them he wants to live. No one hears him. "Lauren!" he screams.

Jonathan Kent is in that moment when time slips away. The soul frees itself from the body. There is an instant when someone decides whether the body and the soul will reunite and stay or separate and leave. For Jonathan, that decision has been made. His body and soul will separate. His soul will leave his body to find its salvation. The agony that his mortal body is suffering disappears. Suddenly, he is pulled toward this light. He is moving faster and faster. His mind is racing to keep up with the images that surround him; then there is a beautiful quiet, and the light fades.

Jonathan's soul is no longer captive within his mortal body. His soul is a being awaiting judgment. Jonathan's soul fears this judgment. The space surrounding his soul is dark and endless. A melody permeates the darkness. Each note seems familiar yet strange. The figure of a tall, slender man enters. The figure illuminates the darkness. The face of the man is youthful yet severe. Jonathan's soul understands he is looking at the face of God. Jonathan's soul listens to the softly spoken words. "Jonathan Kent, you have squandered your time. You are here because you chose to save the lives of others above your own. You will remain here. You will receive neither punishment nor reward." The voice falls silent. "Behold your life, Jonathan," the voice continues. Slowly images drop into the dark space before him until the life he once knew fills the space. The different shades of gray cast a pale light against the dark. His soul recoils from the frames that show the desolation he felt until his car hit the wall this evening. "This is the life you lived. You wasted this life. You will wait until the soul I will send redeems you. His redemption is your redemption. Remember, you have not yet loved." The tall, slender Man retreats, but the images remain. The only solace is that Jonathan's soul can see the face of the woman he always loved, Lauren. The life he cannot live unfolds before his soul.

Lauren is sitting with her mother and Mary Kent. The couple left, the woman sobbing, clutching her husband. Lauren could not bear to look at her. As Lauren looks at the clock, she sees the surgeon walking toward them. She feels Mary Kent move closer and her mother's embrace tighten. The surgeon pulls a chair close to her and sits down. He is a man in his mid-forties with graying hair and a slender build. His voice is quiet, and as he touches Lauren's hand, she fears that the news cannot be good. "My name is Dr. Lowery, Mrs. Kent. Your husband has sustained severe internal injuries. We have already removed part of his intestines and his spleen. His left leg has sustained major damage, and we are not sure we can save it. He is young, and in these circumstances, youth can count for something. We will just have to wait and see." Emily Crawford holds her daughter tight and watches as Mary Kent stares ahead in shock. Lauren feels herself grow numb.

Dr. Lowery gets up and walks the women toward the intensive care unit. The nurses surround the bed. Lauren can see Jonathan's face is badly swollen, and bandages cover his head. From beneath the monitoring devices, she can see his hands and forearms are black and blue. His left leg is heavily bandaged and in traction. Lauren begins to tremble. She forces herself to block out everything. She reaches over the tubes and begins to stroke Jonathan's head. She glances toward her mother. Emily Crawford is holding a sobbing Mary Kent. Lauren turns away and continues to stroke Jonathan's head.

Jacob Lansing waited for his wife to fall asleep. He did not want to face her. He did not want to say good-bye. He slowly gets out of bed and walks to the living room. He is almost blind now, but this is the home he knows by heart. He leaves the note on the desk. He opens the drawer and takes the pills he has hidden. He takes one last look at the home he loves: the fireplace he and Elizabeth spent so much time designing, the paintings and antiques they bought together. He can barely see them now, but his memory provides the vision his eyes cannot. He walks back to the bedroom and sits in the chair facing his sleeping Elizabeth. Jacob believes in options no matter how painful. Tonight he will exercise the only option he has left. Years in the military taught him the inevitability of death. He learned never to be afraid of it. The cancer that ravaged his body has left him unable to do anything without unbearable pain. He has spent too much time watching Elizabeth become a sad, anxious woman. He cannot bear the feeling of futility any longer. He cannot bear the feeling that he is no longer in control of his own destiny. Tonight he will be. He looks at the wife he loves desperately. She brought him happiness and gave him the only home he ever knew. His heart aches as he thinks about leaving. He closes his eyes as he thinks about Marcus Allen—his unfinished work, the young man he wanted desperately to make whole. He never believed he would desert those he loved. He knows he is doing that now. They are better off without him, he thinks. He takes the pills that will end his agony and theirs. He asks God to forgive him, to understand his misery, and to take care of those he loves. He focuses on his wife's sleeping face. He wants to remember her face for all eternity. He closes his eyes. He feels his breath slipping away. It becomes harder to breath until he can no longer breathe. His body rattles as he takes his last breath. Death is where time stops and the rhythm of life ends. The distance between mortality and immortality vanishes. There is no retreat. The door to life closes to the body, and the soul leaves to receive judgment.

The room is still as Jacob's soul enters. A gentle light bathes the room, and the sound of a beautiful lullaby erases all other sound. Jacob's soul is free from the agony of his mortal body. The feeling of joy that the absence of pain brings overwhelms his being. His soul understands that this joy will not last. His soul hopes that the God he so fervently believes in will grant him mercy. Quietly the figure of a man enters the room. The figure is gray. As the figure comes closer, the face becomes clearer. The face of the man is aged, yet his eyes show the remnants of his youth. Gradually, the room dims, the light replaced by the image of his sleeping wife and his lifeless body in the chair beside her. Jacob listens to the voice of God. The voice is harsh as He approaches Jacob's soul. "Jacob, you have taken your life. You have shown no faith in me. You have removed yourself from those you loved and from Marcus Allen, who was not ready to lose you." His voice falls silent. He lifts his hand and beckons Jacob's soul to come to Him. The voice softens. "Jacob, behold your life, a life you lived in full." His life unfolds. The colors dance around his soul as the room comes alive with the story of his life. Each scene brings the sorrow, laughter, and joy he lived. Jacob's soul touches the hand of the aged Man. The colors evaporate. The void is filled by different images. This is not his life. It is a different life. The voice slowly explains the life he will redeem. "This is a young boy whose mother denied him nothing money could buy but everything that the heart could offer. He became a man filled with a self-hate that makes everyone around him pay for the love he could not have and could not accept. His redemption is your redemption. Remember that you have loved." God releases Jacob's soul. The light closes around him, and it is dark. He feels unbearable pain and faintly hears the voice of a young woman. As the pain becomes more excruciating, the voice of the young woman becomes louder until all he can here is a name: Jonathan.

(Continues...)Excerpted from LULLABIES by C. A. Cuomo. Copyright © 2014 C. A. Cuomo. Excerpted by permission of iUniverse LLC.
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