Wow! eBook
Husband Consultant
Author(s): Colin Diyen (Author), Momjang Diyen (Illustrator), Kini Diyen (Illustrator)
- Publisher: Independently published
- Publication Date: 10 Aug. 2019
- Language: English
- Print length: 128 pages
- ISBN-10: 1088725155
- ISBN-13: 9781088725153
Book Description
Many young men get confused when it comes to handling women, especially wives. Many friends keep coming to consult me on how to handle their women. Tough looking eggs that appear to be capable of chewing glass without wincing, or of smashing iron blocks into pulp with bare fists, come whimpering and complaining about harassment from females, whereas it would have taken only a drop of good reasoning for these fellows to put their females under full control. That is how I found myself transformed from a small hardworking man into a superman, who before you say ‘boo’ can transform henpecked blokes into mature self-confident husbands. Were it not for the fact that I could attract tax officers to my humble home, I would have put up one of those elaborate signboards, with the legend ‘Husband consultant; handle your spouse with confidence and get all the respect you deserve.’ Harried husbands would flow in and fill my pockets with cash. But then there is always the danger of angry wives rushing in bent on mayhem, whenever I succeed in transforming their husbands into real men. However, ‘always stand by your fellow man’ is my motto, so I cannot let my male chums down. I am not one of those female haters though. What can a man do without a woman by his side? They spice life somehow. Women are like that type of pain that you enjoy as it hurts. You could equally liken them to pepper, a hot spice that many Africans enjoy in their meals despite its sharp burning taste that makes you perspire uncomfortably. There are other attributes to a woman which most men do not realize. In some villages, sedentary husbands have the opportunity to do sports only when running after an errant or provocative wife. A friend once told me that the best use he had for his wife was her role as the supplier of neighbourhood gossip. She offered him more details than any local radio station would. Another important role wives play is to serve as punching bags to grouchy husbands, although some African men would rather use them as beasts of burden. This is a hilarious book of prejudices and stereotypes that make the reader laugh and frown, stop and think. It brings out the eccentricities and complications in most women, as well as positive qualities in some females, like the subtlety and beauty of being infinitely human.
