GETTING BACK to WORK

Everything You Need to Bounce Back and Get a Job After a LayoffBy LINDA K. ROLIE

The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc.

Copyright © 2009 Linda Rolie
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-0-07-163867-8

Contents

Chapter One

Psychology of Job Change

The way through endings to new beginnings

There is a natural order in the process of loss and change. First, there is the ending and letting go, followed by an empty zone filled with confusion and distress. Then, there is a new beginning. Career transition may include a sense of loss, especially if the circumstances around job change are involuntary. There is often a gap in the trail where one experience ends (say college or a former job) and a new direction begins. People often have a strong identity attachment with a job or work environment. Losing a job or being between jobs can feel like a loss of your identity.

Every loss—whether from the death of a loved one, the loss of a job, or having been the victim of theft—tends to set off a natural process of emotions. The late psychiatrist, Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, M.D., identified five normal stages of loss:

1) Denial, with a response such as, “This can’t be true or isn’t fair,” and a sense of emotional numbness or disbelief about your circumstances or (job) loss.

2) Anger (toward a company or co-workers who kept their jobs). Loss of control can foster feelings of anger.

3) Bargaining (“If I do XYZ, God will rescue me”) or rationalizing (“I didn’t want that job anyway”).

4) Depression—missing the routine of work and friendship of co-workers—when the (job) loss hits home even if you were unhappy there.

5) Acceptance—beginning to think about future opportunities—making an action plan, and moving forward.

Emotions accompanying job change

Accepting circumstances and emotions surrounding job change can be challenging. Losing a job, changing jobs, or exploring a career path often causes anger, shock, denial, fear, confusion, frustration, doubt, skepticism, stress, guilt, anxiety, and/or depression. You may need to take some time to grieve before you jump into job search activities. It may take a year or more for feelings of grief and anger to dissipate. Over time, negative feelings will lessen in intensity and duration.

For your future success, you must deal with your feelings. It is imperative that you move past difficult emotions so as to not bring “emotional baggage” into your future interviews and job. Left to fester, emotional afterburn can sabotage future career opportunities. Studies focusing on tension, distress, anger, and depression reveal that those individuals who write their deepest feelings in a journal (spending twenty minutes a day for five days) have faster success finding jobs with heightened self-awareness and confidence, and lower stress. Writing down your feelings about your circumstances is liberating. Feelings such as grief, fear, and anxiety are normal during job transition. In the case of two equally qualified candidates, when one has dealt with feelings and the other one has not, the latter’s unresolved emotions will leak through and reveal resentment toward a former employer, or other negative feelings, even though attempting a positive attitude.

The collaboration of career counseling and therapy

There are two aspects to job and career transition—the emotional one and the practical one. Easing the emotional toll of unemployment may require professional help. Creating focus and direction may include deciding whether to use a career counselor and/or therapist. If you want to make the transition faster, then the cost of not getting help may be significant.

There is always some trauma involved in transitioning from one career or job to another. Work gives us a sense of belonging in the world. When we are in career crisis, our sense of self can be filled with doubt and uncertainty. If you are discouraged, fearful, or at a loss about steps to take, or haven’t found a career focus, it may be time to invest in yourself. Bringing closure to a job loss or familiar career requires emotional recovery. Successful transition requires practical tools and resources, a new vision, focus, direction, and identified goal. If you are doubtful whether you can identify and acquire work you enjoy and are good at, or question whether an action plan can help you stay the course, a career counselor might be the better choice to help you create your work/life plan.

You must feel safe, secure, and guided through the process of transition whether being helped by either a therapist or career counselor. You may have to deal with your feelings of anger, failure, sadness, and depression. In order to achieve forgiveness for a former employer and also for yourself, you must overcome thoughts such as, “If only I had …” or, “If only he/she had …” Your therapist and/or career counselor should be equipped to move you toward your peak performance—including addressing the chip on your shoulder that is showing up to others (for example, during an interview)—but that you don’t see. Bringing emotional baggage into a job interview or new job is sabotage and must be dealt with if you are to regain control of your career. Professional counselors must be able to offer both an emotional and practical side to services. You can’t move forward without either a mental or written plan to achieve higher levels of success. This requires focus and implementation.

Career counselors and therapists tend to specialize in niches and it is advantageous to work with one who has skills to meet your specific needs. The following checklist includes services you may want from a career counselor. I request that every client complete and prioritize this “needs assessment” form in order to avoid any assumptions or miscommunication, as well as manage expectations. You should identify the services you want from a potential career counselor and select the right fit for you.

Needs checklist for career counseling services

* Skills Identification (knowledge, skills, interests, and abilities)

* Assessment (interests, aptitudes, college major, training, certifications, licenses)

* Job Search Strategies

* Create Goals

* Focus and Direction

* Job Placement Assistance

* Personality Type and Job Match

* Job Application Form Completion (county, corporate, state, non-profit)

* Values and Work Preferences Identification

* Professional, Customized Resume

* Cover Letters

* Salary Concerns or Salary and Job Benefits Negotiation

* Plan of Action: Marketing, Networking, and Job Search Strategy

* Interview Skills

* Loss/Emotional Issues: Coping Strategies Impacting Unemployment or Career Transition

* Pre-Retirement or Military Transition

* Tele-Consulting Service (distance or commute is an obstacle)

* Resources/Referrals/Networking: Internet sites including job openings, skill sets, wages/salary information, and job descriptions

* Self-Employment/Business Planning

* Job Offer Analysis/Proposal Writing

* Other. Please address services or needs not listed above.

Seasons of transition

Job searches during periods or in areas of high unemployment statistics can seem especially challenging. Remind yourself of a time when your future appeared bright, work was plentiful, and the economy was up—those times will come and go again. Just like seasons change, periods of employment can vary from dormant to plentiful.

The period of transition, whether you are exiting college or the military, new to the workforce, an executive, or a career veteran, can feel like a life crisis, so nurture yourself. Identify and remove any unnecessary stressors. Recognize that these feelings are normal and may come and go. People react to their circumstances and experience change differently and in their own time. Paradoxically, the process of dealing with loss requires change and letting go. Transition requires moving forward and living life on life’s terms. Depression may take root when ignoring a part of oneself that wants attention, such as feeling stuck in a job that lacks creative expression. Exploring new options can renew feelings such as hope, creativity, excitement, confidence, and acceptance.

Anger may show up during transition. Anger is actually a secondary feeling following a primary underlying emotion (see Figure 1 on the following page). Consider whether the emotion preceding your anger was (1) loss of pride or self-esteem, (2) fear/uncertainty, (3) pain/hurt feelings, or (4) shock. One reason “anger” occurs is because it is easier to deal with than the root feeling; an angry person feels powerful but a hurt or scared person feels weak or even helpless.

Feel your feelings and let them go

A sequence of feelings is also natural and can be expected when you are facing job change (see Figure 2). The feeling of “confusion” can lead to a downward spiral to depression. The solution? Information! Confusion, left unattended, worsens into “frustration.” Frustration festers to become “anxiety.” Finally, anxiety can plummet you into “depression.” In other words, without information, the emotional elevator keeps going down. With information, you can step off the elevator at anytime.

Lack of information

Monitoring negative thoughts

Most of us do not monitor our thoughts. Become aware of negative self-talk: “I’m not good enough,” “I’m stupid,” “I have nothing to offer,” and “I’ll never have what I want.” Avoid the type of thinking that consists of “should have, would have, if only, could have.” Don’t “should” on yourself –“If only I had or hadn’t done that.” Thoughts create emotions that lead to either positive or negative results.

The next step for the confused job seeker is to acquire as much up-to-date and specific information as possible. Choosing the best job goal or career direction is like playing a card game; the more cards revealed the more information you have to make good decisions. Then, use that information to take action. Your job is to “suit up” and “show up” every day. Do the footwork and the rest will come. Get into action, stay in action, and keep up the momentum until you are satisfied with the results. Stay in the game.

Paul and Sarah Edwards have written almost 20 books. The common thread in their books is “to enable people to live the life they want to live while doing the work they want to do.” For information about their work, free excerpts are available at www.WorkingFromHome.com. In Finding Your Perfect Work, they write, “As bad as things may seem, the greatest dreams are often born in periods of the greatest distress. Times like the present make people mad. We get tired of putting up with frustration and disappointment. We grow restless, discontented, dissatisfied, and even desperate. Personal crisis shakes us from our complacency and forces us to find new solutions in order not to give up our dreams. Change presents us with new choices and causes us to seek new options that fire up our dreams.”

Puzzle pieces

Job searches and career transition are like putting a puzzle together. The more information you get, the more the puzzle comes together. Information can relieve distress. The more information you have the better decisions you can make for yourself.

Every person talked with, career book read, Internet resource explored, employer contacted, or skill upgraded adds a piece of the puzzle. In time, the puzzle comes together, creating focus and direction; your career or job is in place, for the time being. There will likely be more change and another puzzle on the horizon. Keep preparing toward the future. Stay flexible, keep learning, and continue adding new tools to your employment toolbox.

The emotional, financial, and physical impact of losing a job or a prolonged job search can be a difficult or even devastating experience. Looking for a job can feel equally uncomfortable. It is important to feel your feelings, then let them go. Understandably this is sometimes difficult. Acceptance of your current circumstances (whatever they are), rather than miring yourself in negative thinking or resisting job change altogether, is one solution to making a successful transition. Wayne Dyer said, “As humans, we are often feeling beings first, who also think.”

Time for a job or career change

For today’s employees, it is not uncommon to change jobs frequently. For previous generations, it was common to remain in the same profession or even hold the same job throughout one’s work life. Today a professional may change jobs about every two years and a blue-collar employee every six months. A college graduate may likely change jobs and careers 12 to 15 times or more.

A fast-changing world of work is today’s reality. It requires accepting that you may change jobs or go through career transition every few years. Getting on track and in sync with organizational change requires adaptability, flexibility, and acceptance. It is not uncommon for industries and employees to get hit by new waves of change and downsizing before getting mobilized from the last turnaround. Resistance to the rapidly changing world of work sabotages your potential for new career opportunities.

There are no wasted experiences or mistakes, only lessons, which can often occur through failure. At some point, you will be able to rely on a past experience in your new circumstances. People in career transition, whether voluntarily or involuntarily, are undergoing personal growth pains in order to create future opportunities. Looking for the right job or career direction isn’t necessarily just about getting the job but also building your personal character, tenacity, strength, courage, and perseverance.

Your future does not live in your past

Romanticizing about past employment is characteristic during transition periods. Attempting to resurrect past work experience is not a solution to current circumstances. It is normal to create an idealized account of the past, or to feel regretful, nostalgic, or “homesick” for a previous job, particularly when dealing with present work-related challenges. There is a component of denial when romanticizing about the past that can serve to prevent depression.

Do you recall the story about Moses bringing the people out of slavery in Egypt to a promised land? During the journey, they felt confused and afraid, seemingly lost in the desert. Some demanded to return—at least they were fed in their prior environment—regardless of their former unhappiness. Career transition and job change can make you feel like you are lost in the wilderness; uncertain whether you will find your way to success. Just like the slaves in Egypt, however, your future does not live in the past.

You may be very good at the work you have done in the past—just like the slaves in Egypt who were forced to make bricks—but that doesn’t mean you want to keep doing the same job. Your future isn’t back there. Your future work is ahead of you. You must move forward to reach your goals. You will then reach the promised land.

Burnout

The American Psychological Association’s website indicates that burnout is emotional exhaustion resulting from overwhelming stress at work. It may be caused by a hostile work environment or fears about job security, but it often results from long hours, stressful deadlines, high expectations, worrying about a project, or taking on more work than you can handle—in other words, working too hard. It can lead to serious conditions, such as depression and heart disease, and you should seek professional help if you are experiencing burnout.

I’ve been known to plant a garden with my kitchen spoons until they bend like a Houdini magic trick, and use scissors instead of pruning sheers, resulting in gummy blades with broken tips. Similarly, workers who repeatedly perform the same task (whether or not they are good at it or suitably matched for it) become stressed and are at risk for burnout. Symptoms may include anger, irritability, or negativity toward others who make demands; feeling overwhelmed, suspicious, helpless; exhaustion; weight gain or loss; sleeplessness; or headache/stomachache. Risk-taking, impulsiveness, or excessive spending may color their behavior.

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Excerpted from GETTING BACK to WORKby LINDA K. ROLIE Copyright © 2009 by Linda Rolie. Excerpted by permission of The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc.. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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