John Dunlop (MD, Johns Hopkins University) practiced geriatric medicine for thirty-eight years and taught in the bioethics program at Trinity International University. He now lives in New Haven, Connecticut, where he taught at the Yale School of Medicine. Dunlop is the author of Finishing Well to the Glory of God; Wellness for the Glory of God; and Finding Grace in the Face of Dementia.

John Dunlop (MD, Johns Hopkins University) serves as an adjunct professor at Trinity International University and practices geriatrics in New Haven, Connecticut, where he is affiliated with Yale School of Medicine. Dunlop is the author of Finishing Well to the Glory of God: Strategies from a Christian Physician and Wellness for the Glory of God: Living Well After 40 with Joy and Contentment in All of Life.

Finishing Well to the Glory of God

Strategies from a Christian Physician

By John Dunlop

Good News Publishers

Copyright © 2011 John Dunlop
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4335-1347-3

Contents

Introduction, 11,
Strategy 1: Live Well, 21,
Strategy 2: Let Go Graciously, 35,
Strategy 3: Treasure God's Love; Love Him in Return, 59,
Strategy 4: Grow through Adversity, 71,
Strategy 5: Embrace a Biblical View of Life and Death, 89,
Strategy 6: Complete Your Agenda, 105,
Strategy 7: Make Appropriate Use of Technology, 123,
Strategy 8: Changing Gears from Cure to Comfort Care, 139,
Strategy 9: Rest in Jesus, 165,
Appendix 1: Maintain Your Health, 187,
Appendix 2: Examples of Technology, 191,
Appendix 3: Advice for Survivors, 201,
Recommended Reading, 209,
Notes, 213,
Index, 219,

CHAPTER 1

Live Well

What are the good aspects of growing older? What purpose can my life have when I am older? How do I build deeper friendships? Are there steps I can take to assure better health? What things detract from finishing life well?

Finishing life well is living well — right up to the end. Sure, we will always be aware that somewhere out there death is looming, but life is not fundamentally about dying, it is about living.

As a gerontologist, I have many patients who come to the office for a physical exam prior to retirement. I frequently inquire as to their plans and ask them if I can share two rules for retirement. I have never been refused. They are simple:

Rule 1: Wake up every morning knowing what you are going to do that day.

Rule 2: Go to bed every night knowing that you helped someone.

If we think that retirement is a time to sit around and do whatever we please, or if we think that the time has finally come for us to focus on ourselves, we will be miserable and make life so for everyone around us. Ignoring these two rules can lead to depression and even to an early death. Without any meaningful reasons to live, we may experience what commentator Paul Harvey quipped: "Retirement is just practicing up to be dead." While this appears to be true for some people, it is not so for all.

At age ninety-five, Carrie was certainly not "practicing up to be dead." She was one of many delightful elderly women I have been privileged to know. After being independent for twenty years following her husband's death, her family thought it wise for her to give up driving and move out of her home of seventy years to an assisted-living facility. I asked how she felt about all of these changes. Her response was, "I hated giving up visiting the old people at the old folk's home."

Fred was almost the opposite. Though he too was ninety-five, he did not have Carrie's attitude. Sitting in his nursing home bed, he responded to my encouragement by saying, "What's the use? I'm ready to die." I reminded him that there were only two kinds of people: those who are living and those who are dead. I told him, "Unless you are dead, you are still living, so let's get on with it. If you are to come to the end of your life well, it will be much more about how you lived these days than how you died." He had a change of heart and was able to live out his days contentedly at home with his wife and loved ones.

Prescriptions for Finishing Life Well

In this chapter we are not going to focus on the problems of the end of life but rather on the opportunities it offers. To do this I offer the following prescriptions:

1. Recognize your God-given value.

2. Find purpose for each day.

3. Cultivate and maintain deep friendships.

4. Laugh a lot.

5. Invest in your health.

6. Avoid the things that rob quality from the older years.

Unfortunately, we don't naturally follow these guidelines. To do so requires deliberate planning.

Recognize Your God-Given Value

My friend in the nursing home had no motivation to get up and get going because he failed to appreciate his value.

In our youth-oriented culture, aging is feared, something to be put off as long as possible. It has been said: "Everyone wants to live a long time, but no one wants to grow old." Our culture values youth, physical beauty, and athletic prowess but does not place much value on the elderly. As persons grow old, they become less like what society most esteems.

Contrast this view of the elderly with that of Scripture. A classic passage is in Leviticus: "You shall stand up before the gray head and honor the face of an old man, and you shall fear your God: I am the Lord" (Lev.19:32). This strong statement affirms that as we honor the elderly, we are showing reverence for God. Appreciate the significance of this statement: "Gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained in a righteous life" (Prov. 16:31).

In an insightful book, Growing Old in Christ, Richard and Judith Hays summarize well the biblical view of the elderly:

Nowhere in the biblical canon are they pitied, patronized, or treated with condescension. Nowhere is growing old itself described as a problem. Nowhere are elders described as pitiable, irrelevant, or behind the curve, as inactive or unproductive. Nowhere are they, as in so many Western dramas and narratives, lampooned as comic figures.

It's crucial that we cling to the biblical, not the contemporary, view of the elderly. If we do otherwise, we may compromise our own future. If in your younger years you feel that life for the elderly is of little value, chances are you will devalue your own life as you get older. Many seniors respond to aging by continually trying to be young. I've seen ads for senior living facilities showing a group out on the ski slopes. There's nothing wrong with such a vigorous picture of life at that age — unless it forces the elderly to deny who they really are and pretend to be something they are not. Our culture's failure to value the aged is pervasive; I have found myself unthinkingly caught up in it. In years gone by I would congratulate ninety-year-olds for appearing to be only sixty. They would always smile and accept it as a compliment. Then, when I came to realize that by doing so I was implying there was something wrong with being (and looking) ninety, I stopped saying such things.

Rather than deprecating age, we ought to recognize the benefits of growing older, seeing old age as being chronologically gifted rather than chronologically challenged. Wisdom is one of those benefits: "Wisdom is with the aged, and understanding in length of days" (Job 12:12). Granted, young people can be wise and older ones can be foolish. But Scripture validates a certain kind of wisdom that only comes through years of experience. Wisdom is not the same as knowledge. Knowledge is an accumulation of facts. Wisdom is the ability to use well the knowledge we have. It includes the ability to set priorities, to assess value, and to see things in larger perspective. If we want knowledge in today's world, we can surf the Internet, but unfortunately that does not buy us wisdom.

Whether we are young, middle-aged, or elderly ourselves, we need to affirm the value of the elderly.

Find Purpose for Each Day

Those who trust in God should never view any season of life as unproductive, even the last stage. So, wrote the psalmist:

The righteous flourish like the palm tree and grow like a cedar in Lebanon. They are planted in the house of the Lord; they flourish in the courts of our God. They...