Challenging Casanova: Beyond the Stereotype of the Promiscuous Young Male

Many people believe the male sex drive is ever present and barely controlled. This image is both a centerpiece of fiction?in movies like American Pie and Superbad?and in the news, as in the obsession with the sex lives of Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, Tiger Woods, and other public figures. It seems guys who sleep around are expected to behave that way. But what would happen if we improved and expanded our sexual expectations of young men? If we stop believing that boys and men are emotional cripples and fly-by-night Casanovas who are just out for sex, and start believing that they’re full, complete human beings who have emotional and relational needs?

Challenging Casanova works to shift our thinking beyond this stereotypical perspective on male sexuality to a conception that is more complex and nuanced, one that acknowledges that most boys and young men want to have relationships and suggests that they take a variety of approaches to dating and sexuality. In this important new book, Dr. Andrew Smiler expands the discussion of boys’ and young men’s lives and provides all of us with a way to challenge this image. Drawing from the latest research and clinical studies on male sexuality, Smiler shows that when we put dating and sexuality in the context of other developmental changes instead of thinking about it as something separate from any other part of life, we get a very different, non-Casanova perspective on boys’ sexual development. He explains how the Casanova Complex has become our “basic” understanding of young men’s sexuality and shares what we can do as parents, teachers, and members of society, starting today, in order to challenge Casanova.

Advance praise for Challenging Casanova

“With remarkable precision, Andrew Smiler dismantles the theory that boys will be boys and replaces it with the reality that most adolescent males are complex, emotional, relational, and well on their way to becoming good men.”
?Christopher Kilmartin, PhD, University of Mary Washington; author, The Masculine Self

“We all ‘know’ that males are biologically hardwired and propelled by evolution toward promiscuity. Except virtually all the evidence is inferential and teleological, reasoning backward into the deepest recesses of evolutionary time from observing a singles bar on a Friday night. And it’s actually true of?get this!?less than 5 percent of males. In this careful and empirically grounded book, Andrew Smiler methodically dismantles such facile explanations and teases out the Casanova Complex from the actual experiences of actual American men.”
?Michael Kimmel, PhD, distinguished professor of sociology, SUNY Stony Brook; author, The Gendered Society

“Challenging Casanova pulls back the sheets on young men’s sexuality to reveal a stunning truth: our societal expectations of boys actually encourage sexual behaviors in young men that we’d like to see curbed. Ultimately, this book challenges us?as parents, teachers, and a society?to rethink our beliefs about boys and to use the tools Dr. Smiler provides for positively influencing the sexual lives of young men.”
?Will Courtenay, PhD, LCSW, author, Dying to Be Men

“This book is for anyone who has wondered about the harm caused by male stereotypes, particularly in regard to young men and sexuality. Well researched, well constructed, and thoughtful, it is a surprising and fascinating look at what happens when society’s stereotypes about young Casanovas turn out to be wrong, and what we, together, can do about it.”
?Lisa Hickey, CEO, Good Men Media, Inc.; publisher, The Good Men Project

“Andrew Smiler helps us see the often unnoticed stereotypes that affect boys and men’s lives. Readers will learn about ways of being masculine that bring the most lasting satisfaction, for men and the women who love them.”
?Betsy Crane, PhD, professor, Center for Human Sexuality Studies, Widener University